Piece #5

"I'm like a 10,000 piece puzzle of the color red," I told my coworker. 

"I've figured out three pieces," he responded. 

"Not too shabby," I replied. "I'm only on piece number five."

9,995 pieces to go...

Hello, Running. I've missed you

It's been months since I've run. There have been a lot of reasons for my hiatus. Let me sum up....

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As you can tell, running, which has been my sanity, has fallen to the wayside. However, I have cheerleaders who care for me and have encouraged me to get back to running. And their Christmas gifts to me inspired me to go on an untimed 2 mile run today.

Obviously they know me and my love of all things pink!

My new running hat! And it's reversible! I opted to have the warm, fleece side in for today's 20 degree Fahrenheit run. The side you see is dry fit. It is an amazing hat! So comfortable (my one from last year was too tight on my big noggin) and kept me perfectly warm without overheating. Love it! (Not shown: matching pink gloves! Woohoo!)

That's right folks! I am the proud owner of a pink flower just for running! Jealous? You should be! But you could own one too! Visit Fellow Flowers to find your very own! Mine is pink which, according to the card that came with it, stands for "Gratitude. To endure against the odds. To unite and connect. To admire, to love. To honor a hero, to be a hero." The description continued by saying, "This Flower is a symbol of friendship, strength, and beauty. It represents your journey - the miles and the moments. The training and the transformation. The realization that your body is strong, and that your mind is even stronger. It's telling yourself every damn day that you are worth it." And, as you can tell by my story about what's going on in my life, these are just the encouraging words I needed. :')

Hello, Running. Great to see you again! 

Let the transformation continue

Much love,

SuperJuls

Race Addicition

I think it's time for a new system to display my bibs and hardware...

I don't have an addiction to running races...I can quit anytime...honest... ;)

A Successful Two Miles

Who would have thought running a clunky, sluggish two miles could make me so happy? Well, when my calf didn't tighten during or after I not only feel excited, I feel like I can conquer the world! :)

Active Recovery

It's been one week since Chicago. Other than the aforementioned left calf, I've recovered nicely. However, I hadn't yet gone out for some active recovery and my left leg was getting more achy by the day. Spending Friday night and 10 hours on Saturday sitting on bleachers at my daughter's volleyball tournament certainly didn't help. When I wasn't sitting I was standing since there weren't a lot of places to go. Plus, non-cheering time was spent dealing lecturing/consoling/combatting my teenage daughter. This, in turn, meant my mom spent her downtime listening/consoling/comforting her teenage granddaughter AND her not-feeling-so-grown-up daughter. My 7-year old and my dad wisely kept their distance. We had some good moments, though, and I had plenty of opportunities to embarrass her.

"Awkward Mom Photo"

Sunday was much better for my leg with some unexpected active recovery. My second grader really wanted to go apple picking “before winter comes” and Sunday was our day to go. The teenager opted to stay home leaving just me and my little man to brave crossing the Cheddar Curtain for some apples, pumpkins, and fun. I was happy to be walking normally, although still a little stiff from the bleachers and my injury. Our day at the Apple Farm turned into a reminder that active recovery doesn’t need to take the form of going for a run. Little Man insisted on trying the pedal carts and was super excited to see a double one that we could pedal and ride together. After some time in the playground, getting lost in a corn maze, and munching on an overpriced lunch, we journeyed via wagon ride to the Enchanted Forest where we searched for the perfect apples to fill our bags. We meandered over uneven ground through the orchard, even stopping at the pumpkin patch to pick out two pumpkins before making our way back to the orchard entrance. I realized by the time we go back to the car that my leg wasn’t aching any more. In fact, it felt fantastic! I’ll still break from running for another few days…maybe up to another week, but I feel encouraged. Encouraged that with proper rest I will run again. Encouraged that I can be active in other ways without prolonging my full recovery time. All thanks to my Little Man for insisting on a trip to the orchard and for being the best part of my unexpected active recovery day.

Pedal Carts!

"Let the pain be your guide"

"You know the marathon was only three days ago," the sports doctor said to me as I explained the extreme tightness in my left calf. 

"I know," I replied. "But I've been running long distance since 2008 and this is a new pain that started two weeks before the marathon." I told him I had taken two weeks off prior to the marathon, how I couldn't walk well afterwards even though the "marathon soreness" had subsided, how my attempt to loosen the muscle in a whirlpool had resulted in my leg swelling up like I was 9 months pregnant, and how my family has a history of blood clots due to a protein deficiency, for which I have tested negative. Oh, and I mentioned my hypochondriac tendencies. 

"I can't always feel a clot with a physical exam and I could order a test for that if you really are worried, but I don't feel a 'cord' in you leg that could indicate a clot and you have a very valid reason for a muscle strain. Taking two weeks off of running was the best for healing, but running a marathon angered the muscle. Rest, icing, stretching, and no running. Try biking or swimming until your leg feels better."

"How long should I not run?" I queried. 

"Let the pain be your guide," this doctor, who also runs, replied. "If you were 62, I would say it would take awhile, but you're young enough that you should heal fine. You're not in danger of tearing or snapping anything. 

Thanks, Yoda... "Any idea?" I asked again. 

"When's your next race?" he responded to my insistance. 

"Two and a half weeks. And I'm stubborn," I said. 

He smiled. "I'm the same way." 

Let the pain be my guide...

Patience...

 

The Chicago Marathon

Chicago

I’ve waited for you for five years.

26.2 miles of city streets

26.2 miles of city sights

26.2 miles with 44,999 other runners

26.2 miles of 1 million spectators

26.2 miles

Chicago

You did not disappoint.

It’s been four days now since finishing the Chicago marathon and it’s taken me these four days to be okay with my run. I finished in 5:32:57. One minute and 43 seconds off of my best time. The first half was amazing, crossing at 2:30:36 on track for close to a 5 hour marathon. Then I made the mistake of getting my hopes up. Having not run for two weeks, my legs felt pretty good. My problematic left leg had been tight the whole time, but was mechanically working. I thought I was in decent shape to grab a PR at least. I was enjoying the sights and sounds of the city. The spectators were amazing with a constant sound of cheering. The weather was perfect. I even had Batman and Batgirl in my start corral. I would see Superman and Captain America later in the race, too. But just as in my last marathon, the second half quickly became the opposite of the first one.

It started with my right knee, which probably was a result from compensating for my tight left leg. I had taped my knee and had a knee strap with me, which I decided to add. Then both calves were feeling tight. Finally by mile 22, my adductor muscle (I believe…) in my right thigh Charlie-horsed causing me to pull up short and cling to a near-by light pole to keep from collapsing. One thing I knew in that moment, if I went down, I wasn’t getting back up. And there was no way I wasn’t finishing.

Not finishing was not an option.

I went into the Chicago marathon knowing that there would be pain. In my first marathon, I made it 21 miles before the pain in my heel was too much for me to continue running. I finished with a run/walk and a stress fracture. In my second marathon the heat was my enemy, I started hyperventilating at the halfway point and walk/ran the remaining, unable to calm my respiratory system despite the faithful companionship of Bethie. So here I was. Mile 22. In pain. The tears were starting. I was being to hyperventilate again. Only this time, my only companion was a light pole, probably covered in germs. But I knew another thing in that moment… “forward is a pace”.

Not finishing was not an option.

I took deep breaths to calm my breathing down. I gently stretched my thigh. I cursed.

And I continued on my way.

Slowly

It’s only 4 miles. You can run 4 miles.

At mile 23 there were people handing out cups of beer to runners. I took a cup. The aid stations were also handing out pieces of banana. By this point, the banana was more helpful to me than the shot bloks I had been using. There were an increasing number of cameramen taking official race photos. I smiled at each one I saw.

Finishing was the ONLY option

Throughout the entire run, the motivational signs intended for other runners pulled me through. Several of my close friends were receiving text updates of my progress as well. Each time I crossed a timing mat I imagine the data being blasted out to my loved ones. There was no way they weren’t getting that final text…

FINISH

It was within sight. The route had been counting down: 800 meters to go… 600 meters to go… 400… 200… 100… There were announcers calling out names of runners. And then I heard it:

“Julia Markworth!”

Me!!!

I raised my fist in the air at the announcement of my name. I raised both as I crossed the final timing mat.

26.2

Chicago

There are many things I would have liked to have gone better. But I can honestly say that I gave it everything. In those moments, those steps, each stride, each pain, each smile…I left it all out there. I may have journeyed this marathon without someone physically by my side, but I was never alone. With the support of friends and family cheering me on, the claps on the back by strangers, the smiles from the race volunteers…I had Run Chicago. And I would run it again in a heartbeat.

John Bingham said it best:
"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."

Thank you for your love and support. I would not have had the courage to start without it.

Good Morning Chicago

Before the race: Ready to run!

Here we go!

Still smiling!

The hardware :)

Activation Energy

This is the last quiet moment. The final pause in time before I embark on the adventure that is the Chicago marathon. Right now I have only potential energy. The story is yet to be written with its ending still a mystery. As I breathe in and breathe out I revel in this moment, this time, this chapter. Soon it will be kinetic energy, striding toward a goal. I will revel in those moments, too. I am thankful for those who support me, love me, and cheer for me. They will carry me through the miles. 

And now I feel my activation energy.

Happy running friends

Pain in the Leg

“The only guarantee in endurance sport is it’s going to hurt. And in endurance sport, you pick your level of pain. You have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Yes, there is the matter of talent and training, and you train to delay the onset of pain. But it’s gonna come. And it comes down to who can tolerate the most pain.”
Professional triathlete, Chris Lieto

The above quote was quoted in the Fleet Feet article: Cry and Move On

I was drawn to this article because I have been unable to run in the past week and a half due to an intense knot in my calf muscle. And the marathon is in two days.

Two.

I'm beginning to panic. I want so badly for the race to go well for me. My 20-miler was a dream. I enjoyed the run, the day, the scenery...all-in-all a great run. And I haven't had one since. Just pain. Shuddering up my leg. I can't even make it a quarter mile let alone 26.2 miles.

What to do?

Time to buck up. Run with my heart, my determination, my excitement, the enormity of the Chicago event...run with no other expectations than to finish. Finish strong. Run the best to my ability given my current circumstances.

The author closes with, "To give in, to relent, is to hide not only from the pain, but from your true potential. Don’t sell yourself short because of pain. Don’t adopt a habit of surrender. So it hurts—so what? Pain is just a feeling, and feelings pass. Are you going to let a feeling beat you?"

It's been 5 years since I've dreamed about running the Chicago Marathon. And pain or no pain, I will run.

Becoming

http://youtu.be/IcrbM1l_BoI

http://youtu.be/nMJUbZrNnA8

With a little help from my friends

Okay, with A LOT of help from my friends. Monday was a much needed reprieve from the day-in-day-out stressors of life. A great dinner with two great friends, one who I knew would be there and the other one who surprised me. Tater tots, laughter, and hugs... Sometimes exercising the soul is just as important as exercising the body. I left with a belly full of food and a heart full of love. 

Why spend money on weights?

I had a successful 14-mile run yesterday. I am definitely a cooler-weather runner. I think I will definitely move to the UP now. Pine trees, Northern lights, fantastic accents...ahhh, perfect. Just need to run some hills to prepare. 

Anywho, I ran loops at Busse Woods so I could refill my handheld water bottle. My friction burn is still healing and I didn't want to wear my fuel belt. The trail was packed. CARA had a group finishing up when I was starting, plus the day was beautiful so a lot of people were out walking, running, biking, rollerblading, fishing, etc. In one of the picnic groves there was an authentic Pow Wow taking place. That parking lot was packed with cars, trucks, and campers. I even saw a sign that said "Welcome Stanley Cup!"

Overall my run went well. I averaged a slower pace than I wanted but it was probably on par with what I should be running. My KT tape didn't stay on though. I need to watch the instruction video again to see what I'm doing wrong. Fortunately I had a planned water stop at the car and had remembered to bring my knee straps. I added those to both knees for the last 6 miles. I am worried about how my knees will hold up for the marathon. 

By far my favorite sight during my run was a man running ahead of me who stopped to do squats while lifting one end of the picnic table! Who needs an expensive weight set when there are picnic tables sitting around? Plus it gives a certain badass suburban running trail cred. And no, I didn't try it. I don't need a hernia. 

Ouch

Last weekend was my 18-miler. It was long and painful. And 1.25 miles short of actually being 18 miles. My pace dropped, no plummeted as the miles ticked by, particularly in the last 5. Everything hurt. My calves were the second loudest complainers with my mind being the first. Anytime I stopped, which increased in frequency with the miles, I felt like I was going to vomit. I didn't know if I needed more water or less. If I needed more, I was running out and unsure if I could ration the remaining to successfully complete the run. I had run 6 miles to Busse Woods then 6 miles on the bike trail there. Just when I was deciding how to portion out my water, I saw a water pump on the side of the trail. I was so excited. Until I got closer, that is. The lever was missing. And two red plastic locks with the words "Under treatment" stamped on them were attached to the pump. It was like realizing the oasis was just a mirage. I decided to ration as best I could, with stopping at McDonald's on the way back and asking to fill my water bottles as a fallback option. Fortunately, after the 9-mile turn around, and after running over the bridge under which there were three men in a row boat one of whom was belting out some sort of song or serenade, I spotted another water pump that I hadn't seen on the way out. And this one looked like it had a level. So I stopped to investigate. Not being one who normally pumps my water, it took me many pumps to get the water going. But finally it came, cold and refreshing. I drank some, hoping that I wouldn't get dysentery or lead poisoning because of the rusty pipe held together with duct tape. I was too thirsty to think about it too much so I filled my canteens for the return home. That was one highlight of the run.

The other was the sight of sprinklers in the distance. Since I don't learn my lessons, I had run in a black tank. I had checked the temperature prior to leaving for my run and thought I would be okay. Not even close. After mile 3, I took the tank off and wrapped it around my fuel belt. It would stay there for the rest of the run. Since I was able to fill my water bottles at the pump, I had dumped some water on me but the sprinklers. Oh, the sprinklers! They were watering the expansive lawn of a business park. And they needed me to run through them. So I did. Laughing the whole time. That would be the last time I laughed during this run.

At mile 12.5 my watch beeped that it had a low battery. I was prepared for this likelihood since I had neglected to charge it the night before. I had been obsessing about my slow pace, and how it was getting increasingly slow, so now I just waited. "When it shuts down, I'm walking." It didn't shut down until mile 16.5. By then I knew I had a little over a mile home. I told myself to run another ~0.25 mile then walk the rest of the way home. While I would have preferred running the whole 18, this was definitely the right decision. My recovery was better because I kept moving, allowing my calves to loosen up.

When I got home I grabbed my keys and did end up going to McDonald's. For 15 miles I had been thinking about their mango pineapple smoothie and I was bound and determined to get one. I went for a large and devoured it. It didn't upset my stomach so this just might have to be my recovery drink of choice after my long runs. :) 

I'm glad I had that moment of delicious goodness because upon showering I was about to discover the disadvantage of running with a fuel belt on bare skin...that's right, friction burns. And oh my, do they ever sting in the shower. Plus there was that added element of surprise since I didn't know I had one until the water hit my back. Wow, that smarts! 

Isn't running fun?! ;)

"More than getting by", Excerpts from a TWLOHA blog

"We are encouraged, time and time again, to be visible and vulnerable with others, with the hope of being a part of something bigger than ourselves."

http://twloha.com/blog/You-Deserve-More-Than-Getting-By

Opening up and being vulnerable is scary sometimes. Allowing others to see into my mind's inner workings can leave me feeling exposed. But the mutual benefits of building that community with a kindred spirit far outweighs the initial anxiety of opening up. 

"We were meant to live life with one another. To know and be known. To hear and be heard. To love and be loved."

Muscle Memory

When training for a marathon it's easy to focus on the long runs. But the shorter and middle distance runs are equally as important. My running companion described it as allowing my body to go, "oh yeah, I remember what running 5 miles is like." It's good to get out there, quicken the pace, and run a shorter run.

I had an excellent 4 mile run the other night. I've been feeling slow in the long runs. This is mainly attributed to the fact that I am, indeed, slow. Still, I don't like to feel slow. I decided this 4 mile run would be my Muscle Memory run. My chance to speed up my pace and remember how it feels to run a shorter distance. Plus, properly training for endurance running stresses the importance of the shorter run to protect from injury in the longer runs. I went out later in the evening. I ran at Melas because there are the softball leagues and stadium lights. There were also two skunks and a man inexplicably walking around the park with a golf putter in his hand. Both of these sightings made me uneasy and may have contributed postively to my overall 9:38 pace, but I am okay with that. Especially because I was neither sprayed by the skunks nor was I bludgeoned to death. 

What I enjoyed the most about this run, however, was not just the Muscle Memory I experienced in the physical act of running, but the Muscle Memory I felt in my mind. Running can be like a comforting companion. One who sees my tears and asks if everything is alright. Then, when I shake my head no, follows with, "What can I do?" while holding me close. The comfort of just being there, existing together. It was Muscle Memory of the heart. And I needed that more.

Sleepless Night

Not only will they recognize who you are, they will remind you...as many times as you need to hear it.

The other side of the wall

In my overachieving I have been contemplating running three marathons within 90 days of each other thereby qualifying for the Marathon Maniacs, an online running community. After registering for the Chicago Marathon, I browsed other marathons within the 90 day window. I settled on a September 22nd marathon in Omaha and a November 10th marathon in Madison. But I was hesitant about taking the official plunge, i.e. actually registering. Even so I mapped out the training schedule, courtesy of my Runner's World magazine and got to work. Only one tiny problem...I have been hitting a wall on my long runs. Not to mention, missing some weekly training runs and completely eliminating any cross training. On top of all of that, my eating has been unchecked and unhealthy. My "tiny" problem has turned into a huge, daunting wall. And I keep hitting the wall, over and over and over again. Mind you, I hadn't changed any of the other elements that have contributed to my poor running performance, I just keep hitting the wall, expecting different results while keeping all the same bad habits. I believe this is the definition of insanity.

My mid-August long run was a decision point for me. There was a slight chance I may have run another half marathon on that August 10th and I had decided ahead of time that if it worked out and I ran that half, I would not run Omaha because I would be behind in my Omaha training. If I didn't run that race and I completed my 18 mile training run, I would make my journey to Omaha official. Decision day came and I wasn't running the half but I still had to make it through the 18 miles. I was seemingly off to a good start when suddenly with 7 miles to go, there is was, The Wall. I was thrown back in time to my St. Louis marathon when half way through I inexplicably started hyperventilating. It was the second time this training season that this feeling has overwhelmed me and brought my run to a quick end. I gave up. I stopped my watch. I turned around. I walked back. I quit. 

Quitting is a discouraging feeling. And, I'm not ashamed to say, I cried about it. Not a lot, but the tears were there just the same. I made the decision to let Omaha go. And for that I was sad. I was sad that my training wasn't taking the shape I wanted. I was sad that I quit. I felt like I failed. Here's the thing about failing: "Failing isn't in the falling down; it's in not getting back up again." So even though my training isn't going as originally intended, I'm not staying down. I'm getting back up. I'm using a different training program, one more suited to my needs as a runner and I'm scaling that wall. Because you know what's on the other side? Possibility. Promise. And a goal worth working for. Here's to the other side of the wall. Here's to getting back up again. Cheers, friends. Here's to running. 

Finding my corner

“We have probably wondered in our many lonesome moments if there is one corner in this competitive, demanding world where it is safe to be relaxed, to expose ourselves to someone else, and to give unconditionally. It might be very small and hidden, but if this corner exists, it calls for a search through the complexities of our human relationships in order to find it.” Henri Nouwen

My #1 Guy

I ran an impromptu neighborhood 5K with my 7-year old yesterday evening. He ran the whole thing, only walking to drink water. Of course he bragged about beating me, the little stinker. He was the one said his legs were on fire! And asking me to slow down. :) 

Running with my little man was fun. We had a half an hour after registering before the run started so he, knowing his mommy so well, suggested we go to the park to go on the swings. He beat me there as well, circling the universe "infinity x infinity x infinity". I just can't win against the little guy! My favorite, however, was during the run when he was feeling tired and ready to give up, he would take my hand. Then we would run like that for a little while, hand-in-hand. My heart was full. 

And isn't that just what we need as we make our journey? Someone next to us, ready to hold our hand when we're tired, encourage us when we feel the road is too long, and be there when we cross the finish line, cheering the whole way. He may have beat me in the race, but I think I'm the one who won.  

Sweet and surprising with a twist of fun

Last race as a 33 year old. *sigh*

I stubbornly thought growing older wouldn't bother me, and in a lot of ways it hasn't. But in a lot of other ways it has. I don't like seeing those new gray hairs popping up. The lines on my face that are here for the long haul aren't much fun either. And don't get me started on being called "Ma'am" and wondering why kids that look 12 are allowed to drive. When I start using the phrase "Back in my day" I'll know it's time to throw in the towel. But until then, I run.

I'm in training for Fall events however it's nice to throw in some races to change things up a bit. My latest race was a smaller half marathon. It was a kick off to a summer festival that also included a 10K, a 5K, a kids mud run, and live music. I was a little envious of the kids mud run, I wish I could have participated in that! But, apparently, you had to be a kid to participate, not just act like one.

The atmosphere of the race reminded me a little bit about the races I've run in Ireland. Just a couple hundred people gathering in a park or on a residential street to run a race on roads that are still open to car traffic. I was worried that with only 186 people running the half, I would end up feeling stranded not having people near me. Fortunately, that was not the case, there was always a person to set my sights on or a group of people chatting away to each other about this-and-that. The race was well supported by volunteers, too, with water stops every two miles. Plus I had my fun new toy to let me know my pace and count down the miles.

Yep! I finally caved and bought a GPS watch! I had some Amazon gift cards that were enough to cover the cost which definitely helped in my decision to get one. Not being one to research what I buy, it was nice to enlist the help of a knowledgeable friend when deciding. Only problem with the GPS watch...

I know my pace with certainty. 

!!!

There's no mental math, which I appreciate, however, I only estimated when doing mental math. Because of this my estimations were typically higher than actual. This lead to being pleasantly surprised when the actual results came out. GPS watch knows for a fact what I ran my last mile in. And on a run such as this half marathon, that's not such an encouraging fact to know. 

The day was hot. And sunny. And hot. And I wore black. So I was extra hot. In my defense, it was a black tank. But still. I was hot. The course itself was pretty nice. A lot of open sun which added to how hot I felt...(Have I mentioned the heat?)...which affected how I ran. GPS was nice enough to point out that with each mile I slowed. I probably started a bit fast for my ability at that distance, but regardless, I was slow. This would not be a PR event for me. 

Midway through the race, I made a decision: Start taking off clothes. If you know me, you know what a huge decision this is. And you can probably guess that it took me all of those first 6.5 miles to work up the courage to do so. There was a moment in the race where I thought I would be okay running in my black tank. The route turned left to follow a trail. Delicious shade waited for me as I rounded the corner. Sweet relief beckoned me onward. A smile broke through my chapped, thirsty lips. Finally! A cool, pleasant trail! Then another mile went buy and the trees seemingly ran away, leaving me to bake in the sun. I thought once more about my white stomach. My countless issues with self image. The fact that there were other runners who could see me. Then I thought about the heat. I imagined the black tank absorbing that heat and holding it close to my core. And I took it off. You know what happened then? I expected the people around me to shriek in terror and dive into the tall grass. Maybe a couple of them would just drop to the ground right then and there. None of that happened. One girl did puke, but I think that had little to do with me. No, what happened was my body cooled. Just slightly. My pace continued to slow, but that brief reprieve helped me throughout the second half of the race. 

Until the last half mile. 

12.6 miles and I was done. I wanted water. I wanted to be done. Birds of prey were circling. "I'm not dead yet," I called up to them. The finish line was somewhere ahead. I kept thinking, as I looked at my watch, 5 minutes. You can run for 5 more minutes. Then there was the turn toward the home stretch...and it was packed with cars. Apparently, the one road they closed for the race was now open again and filled with those people leaving the race and those coming for the music festival. Seriously? I just wanted to be done. 

In the end, I crossed the line at 2:20:16. Not my best, but not my worst either. Not too a horrible way to close out my last race as a 33-year old. 

Since then I have turned the big 3-4. It's odd to say I'm 34 when I still feel 19. 34 greets me with new challenges. I have a teenager now, with my daughter turning 13 three weeks before my birthday. She has one more year before high school. Eek! 

I'm registered for at least one marathon. I haven't bit the bullet on the other two yet, but soon. I was just waiting to see how that training schedule pans out. 

And I have this new challenge...

That's right, folks. It's an exercise ball. An awesome birthday gift that comes with an exercise video too. It's a good total body workout that is fun and keeps me laughing. It's amazing how much this works on my stabilizers. I'm excited for the variety in my cross training and the new twist of fun this offers. And, with some commitment, I'm hoping for some more toned abs as well. 

Hello 34! Cheers to the adventures yet to come!

Well, shoot. That was supposed to be my angry run

I'm mad. 

About many things. 

Recent situations. 

Past situations that drudged themselves up again. 

Mad. 

So I went for a run because 1) I'm in training, and 2) to burn off my anger. 

Except I spent 0% of the time worrying about what I'm mad about. 

Instead...

I listened to my footsteps. 

I felt the thick, humid air. 

I watched as sweat beads formed. 

I felt my breath. Smooth. Even. Controlled. 

I felt my heart. Strong. Stable. Sure.

I glided with an easy cadence. My legs dependable. True.

I forgot about being mad.

I just ran. 

The Linearity of Life

A family friend passed away this past Wednesday. I hadn't seen him in over a year and am now left wishing I had made more of an effort to do so in this past year.

My friend also lost her band's guitarist and friend to a heart attack yesterday. She is understandably stunned and saddened.

Life is linear. It marches on without waiting. There is no backing up, no do-overs. There is only now. So if life won't wait, why would we?

Magic

"For me, running is a lifestyle and an art. I'm more interested in the magic of it than the mechanics."

Lorraine Moller, four-time New Zealand Olympian

I like the magic of running, too...not that I'm an Olympian. Although I guess that's what's so awesome about running, you don't have to be an Olympian, or an Elite, to enjoy the magic.

Coach Grim

Volleyball was my Fall sport in high school. I had a decent overhand serve, but probably nothing else. Still, I was a good enough volleyball player to ride the varsity bench already my sophomore year. And it was my own. Entering high school is rough enough. Entering high school as the younger sister of a popular varsity cross country and track runner and future prom queen is difficult. My sister was athletic, graceful, and well liked. I wanted to be like her. But fate had other ideas. You see, when you get right down to it, you really can't be anyone but yourself. And myself was not Rachel. Not a fast runner, I found that I was decent at volleyball and the throwing events in track and field so I focused on those. I excelled at the sciences and music while my sister had carved her path in visual art and the languages. We had an overlapping circle of friends but otherwise did our own thing. Okay, she did her own thing and I did a mixture of my own thing with some copy-catting of my older sister thrown in for good measure. The problem was that I wasn't enjoying volleyball. Excitement from making the varsity team quickly turned into disappointment as I sat on the bench game after game after game after...you get the point. Entering junior year, I again tried out for the volleyball team because that's what I had done before, it's who I was as a high school student. But deep down I didn't want to be on the team, I just wasn't ready to admit that to myself. I was, however, ready to boldly say, "If I don't make volleyball this year, I'm joining cross country." I was feeling ballsy in the moment, and didn't think I'd actually be cut from the team. But then the fateful day came and my name wasn't on the list.
The only thing I remember about telling my parents my decision to join cross country, was my mom saying with a chuckle, "I thought we were done with standing in the cold and rain to watch a cross country race." I don't remember much of the coach's response either, but based on his personality it was probably something along the lines of "Good!" followed by some instructions of when we were practicing and what distance we were running that day. There was no fanfare, not that I expected it, but what I didn't expect was the seemless transition to becoming a member of the team. It helped that I knew the runners from both track as well as classes. Still, they didn't bat an eye, they didn't feel like the second choice. It was simply, "That stinks you didn't make volleyball. Welcome to our team." And that was it. Acceptance.
What made my high school experience were the sports of cross country and track and field as well as the science classes I took. At the center of all of that was my coach and teacher, Dave Grim. He was, and still is, a man of few words and an enormous heart. Although I've told him the difference he made in my life, I'm not sure he quite believes what a positive influence he has on his students and athletes. I was fortunate enough to have him for general Biology and Chemistry, as well as for advanced Chemistry. My senior year I also was a student worker in his lab. A couple of years ago my mom asked what or who was the strongest influence in my life to choose a career in the sciences. Without hesitating I responded, "Mr. Grim." He is the type of teacher who makes himself available to his students. If I had questions I asked during class, or stayed after school, or even, at least once, called his house in the evening. He wants his students to do well. And, as a result, I wanted to do well for him.
Grim's teaching habits translated into cross country and track as well. One of the things I most appreciate about him is how he only asked us to do our best. Not once did he compare my running to my sister's running, or anyone else's for that matter. I remember one particular practice, the varsity team was running 9 miles, while the open team was running less. I decided to run the full 9 with my friend, Julie. Probably not that shocking that I still make rash running decisions like that today. Anyway, when we made it back I was excited to tell Grim what I had accomplished. His reaction was not what I expected. He basically told me I should not have done that. The next day when my hips were tight and hurting, he commented that it was because I should have not run that distance without working up to it first. What I didn't understand at the time was that his response wasn't because he didn't want me to run longer distances, but because he recognized the value of proper training and preparation. He wanted me to run my best, not risk injury trying to prove a point.
The running (haha, pun intended) joke was that Mr. Grim implanted a "Grim Chip" into all of us that gave us this desire to run. It must have worked because many of my teammates are still runners. What I'm realizing now is that he instilled in us is so much more than a love of running. It's about being part of something...part of a team, a family. Working towards a goal to not only achieve that goal but to give absolutely our best, leaving it all on the field on race day. He taught us to celebrate our successes, but not to rest on our laurels. By the same right, he reminded us not to dwell on shortcomings or our perceived failures, but to get up and get back to work. Did he have his star athletes? Absolutely. Did he honor each of us for our contributions and individual strengths? You better believe it. At the end of each cross country and track season, Grim would give us a highlights summary. He would go through the meets, remembering who PRed in what event and where we stood in the school rankings. He would distribute printouts with those records and rankings. He would also give us each a form talking about our strengths and what we needed to work on (and how) to improve for the next season. His level of commitment to truly caring for his athletes earned him induction into the State's Coaching Hall of Fame. That's no small feat.
In order to celebrate Mr. Grim and his 30+ years of continued teaching and coaching, my high school organized a mile race to raise funds and establish a student athlete scholarship in his name. I had the honor of running, even coming in second among the women in my age group with an 8:12.00 mile. Prior to the race I posted this, which sums up the impact Mr. Grim has had in my life:

Excited to celebrate my teacher and coach at this evening's Inaugural Grim Mile. This is the man who instilled in me not only a love of science, but also the infamous running "Grim Chip". I chose a science field for my career and I'm still running today! I have two small but sincere words for Dave Grim.

Thank you!

Thank you, indeed, from the bottom of my heart to the bottom of my soles.

The Challenge

Most times, when a non-runner or non-marathoner hears that I've finished two marathons and am preparing for my third (and hopefully fourth), the comment I hear is "I could never do that". But I'm here to say that running a marathon is easy. Life is what's hard. 

In and around my running adventures are my life adventures. And those adventures are much more muddied, difficult, and, at times, seemingly insurmountable than training for a race is. Preparing for a race is relatively straight forward. Training plans are easily found with just a few mouse clicks. Schedules are mapped out, running shoes professionally fit, and plenty of advice freely given. Barring injury, preparing for and running a race is an attainable goal. 

But where are my instructions for life? Where is the training plan that says, "Do this and that result will occur"? Where is the satisfaction when my well thought-out planning actually comes to fruition? Where is the online help that says, "I've walked this exact path before, parented these exact children, hoped for these same things...and this is the secret"? 

With running, I have a general idea as to what I'm doing. Life? Pfft...no clue.

Nightmares

I had a nightmare last night. It featured a person with whom I prefer not to interact. It felt so real and threw my whole day off. I thought I was past these nightmares. I want to be past them. I needed to run tonight. Needed. Not for the exercise, but because running is my release. It's something I can control when there are so many things out of my control. The negative energy from my nightmare was just too much for me. I needed to turn it into something positive. But clouds were rolling in. Lightning was flashing in the distance. One of my running rules is to not run in the lightning. I will run in the rain, but not a thunderstorm. However, I needed this. So out I went.  

It was muggy. It was raining, though not enough to get rid of humidity. The lightning continuously got closer and was soon accompanied by thunder. Still I ran. The first two miles of what ended up being four miles, was spent stressing about my nightmare. I played it over and over in my head. I let it fuel my steps. And I let my steps loosen the negative vibe it held over me. Then the lightning lit up the sky. The second half of my run was spent actively running. Pushing my pace more than I wanted. Willing my legs to go faster to get home and out of the thunderstorm. I focused my intentions. I took back my control. I released more than sweat.

And, most importantly, I didn't get hit by lightning.

Soldier Field 10 Miler

On the Saturday before Memorial Day, Fleet Feet sponsors the Soldier Field 10-miler. I enjoyed running this race two years ago so last Fall, when Bethie suggested running it again for the 10th anniversary, I didn't hesitate for another chance to finish on the 50-yard line at Soldier Field.

It was a definite celebration, with shirts in the Da Bears Blue and Orange...

And, of course, finishing on the 50-yard line. This finish was particularly satisfying because the run itself was a mentally challenging one. I knew I had the ability to run the pace I was running, but I was lacking the motivation to stick with it. Fortunately, I had my "target" person for the race, the person that acts as a goal and a motivation all in one. "If I can just stay with them...not let them out of my sight..." Whether they realize it or not, they helped get me through the mental toughness of this race. And not only did I finish with a smile on my face, I also beat my time of two years ago by about 8.5 minutes, crossing the line in 1:38:13. I did not expect that going into the race because my week had been extremely long with little sleep and not much running. All thanks to my motivator!

The celebration continued with Soul Asylum playing at the post race party. Although, I had "kinda" forgotten that the band existed...oops. They played new music in addition to the songs I recognized. But it was chilly, so I didn't want to hang around too long. Not when I had important napping to do! :)

The best part of the event, however, was when we received our participant's medal. (You know how I like a race with some good hardware!) This year, active servicemen put on our medals. Very cool and very humbling.

Field of Dreams

It was a long time coming, but Spring has finally arrived. In an attempt to escape the suburban backdrop, I've taken to running at the many and various forest preserves in the area. For awhile, the trees were bare and the ground, brown. But suddenly, Spring. New, light green leaves have decorated branches. Not yet able to block the sun, the trees are surrounded by a flowering forest floor. Spring is a feast for the eyes and the perfect excuse for me to take a rest 4.5 miles into a 6 mile run. Finding a clearing in the trees, I had the chance to breathe deep, inhaling the gorgeous scent around me. It was the opportunity to quiet my mind and embrace the sunshine and inner happiness. Content in that moment, I enjoyed my field of dreams.

During your next run, take a moment to appreciate your own field of dreams. Just watch out for ticks. ;)

Indy Mini

[Rocky Movie Theme Music]

Indy Mini-Marathon! Why it's sometimes called a "Half Marathon" and sometimes a "Mini-Marathon", I'm not sure. Because 13.1 miles does not feel "Mini" to me.

Anywho...
Looking forward to the 2014 running season, if you are deciding on Half Marathons to run, choose this one. It's a big one, with 35,000 people registered, but I felt it was well organized and well run. Fortunately, this year wasn't too hot which helped a lot. The course runs through the neighborhoods of Indianapolis and includes one loop around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. On a hot day, one would bake on that 2.5 mile asphalt oval. But the weather was in the 60s and overcast this year. The course is also well supported, with Gatorade and water stops nearly every mile, as well as bands / DJs playing with the same frequency. The bands were good too. I heard they have to audition participate. Plus, the goody bag is pretty sweet, with a long-sleeved technical running shirt and a running cap.

Sweet long-sleeved shirt

New running cap

What made this race particularly fun, was that I met my sister there. She ran the race last year and enjoyed it enough to register again, as well as suggest it to me. So in Indy we met, for a whirlwind 24 hours of sister-awesomeness. She had a few friends also running. The group of us met to pick up our race packets, enjoy a carbtastic dinner the night before, and engage in general jocularity and fun.

Sisters! Before the race...ready to run! Note Carl photobombing in the background... :)

The morning of the race went smoothly. Not only had Rachel and her friends run the race before, but Allen has worked in Indianapolis so he was able to navigate us to parking quickly. We arrived with enough time for a visit to the porta-potties before walking to our starting corrals. Rachel & Co. are faster than me and were therefore seeded in earlier corrals. We joked that I was making the long walk to my corral, Corral Q, way back in Ohio. I had some old feelings of envy creep in about my sister being faster than me. I guess I'll never quite get over wanting to emulate my older sis.

The View from Q

This race was not long after the Boston Marathon and the bombing that occurred there. Prior to the start of the Mini, the announcer called for a moment of silence in remembrance of those killed and injured in Boston, as well as all recent events at home and abroad. Silence is a powerful statement. Especially when a crowd of people that big is collectively silent. Another thing that was different from races I've run before was the strong presence of the National Guard. According to Rachel & Co., the Guard was not present at last year's race. A reminder that seen or not, my nation's military is present so that I can participate in events like a road race.

The run itself was fun. I didn't cross the start line until 45 minutes after the gun went off, something I expected given the number of people participating. But once we started it was easy to find my pace right away. The streets were closed giving us running a wide path to find our legs and enjoy the run. As I said before, the music and frequent water stops kept the run interesting. Since we were running through neighborhoods, the residents lined the streets and cheered us on as we went. The miles ticked away easily.

And then we approached the track.

Entering The Brickyard

The oval gave me the opportunity to see more of the line of people stretched out before me.

That's a lot of people!

Car racing doesn't come close to the thrill of a running road race! Okay...maybe it's exhilarating in it's own right... ;)

Grandstands

A little tidbit about The Brickyard that I didn't know until I shared the picture of the starting line with a friend...the whole track used to be bricks. That would be loud to drive on. Anyway, the start line still has some bricks. And, apparently, the tradition is to kiss the bricks. I did wonder when I saw some people dropping to give them a smooch. I'm glad I didn't know the tradition before running the race. Although I probably would have opted out of doing that. I kissed the Blarney Stone once, rumored to give one the Gift of Gab, and I lost my voice for a week. Something tells me I should stop making out with structural building materials.

Starting line in the Motor Speedway

And yes, I took all of those pictures while I was running. I didn't want to mess with my pace!

I had been tracking my time and my pace. I was running close to my last half marathon, the Get Lucky. I even had a chance to beat that time. And I really wanted to do just that. A new PR would be awesome. In the last mile, it was time to dig deep. The last stretch was hard. The time was close and I couldn't quite gauge where the finish line was. I had to push without the end in sight. It was worth it though. I crossed the at 2:08:55, 54 seconds faster than my time for the Get Lucky. Rachel also PRed with am amazing 1:43 and change. The best part about it, she was no less excited about my PR than she was about hers.

Finished! And happy with our PRs!

And, of course, there's the swag. I do love a race with some hardware.

Finisher's Medal

We grabbed our free Dixie cup of Michelob Ultra and posed for a group shot. Another successful run. :)

Our group: Allen, me, Carl, Sean, and Rachel

A Runner's Body

At my daughter's track meet last weekend another parent commented how some of the kids "don't look like runners", that they expected them "to be tall and thin". The concept of what a runner looks like has been on the backburner of my mind for some time now. I'm sure I've eluded to it in previous posts, especially with regards to my own self image, but that comment, although an innocent musing, brought my ponderings to the front of my thoughts. What should a runner's body look like?
Then I saw this image floating around the interwebs...

This pretty much sums it up for me. Whether you're tall or short; thick or thin; fast or slow; run on your feet, prosthetics, or compete on wheels; if you're out there, you are a runner. End of story.

Running Tip

"When I run, I make a 'Rrrrrrrrrrrrr' sound and it makes me run faster. Really."

William, age 7

Boston

Running is a universal language. Like a smile or a hug, it transcends language barriers, cultural and educational backgrounds, and doesn't care on which "side of the tracks" you grew up. Being a runner has nothing to do with your pace, whether you run a 5K or a 50K, or if you run organized races or out on your own. Running breeds instant kinship between all other runners. A bond that makes strangers, friends, and friends, brothers. Which is why, when my running community is shaken as it was today, I am shaken with it.

Today was the Boston Marathon, one of the major marathons. Approximately 4 hours into the race, two bombs went off near the finish line, killing at least 3, including an 8-year old, and injuring more than a 100 others. Some witnesses reported runners who lost their legs. When the news broke, I was still at work. I watched some footage with my coworkers, my heart sinking and my eyes filling with tears. Senseless doesn't even begin to describe the event.

Tonight's 3 miler was a heavy hearted one. Despite the rain it was necessary to go out. To run out of solidarity. To run as a way of honoring my fellow runners. To run because that's what we do. There are events in life that we cannot control...some good, some bad. No matter what, we hold tight to the people we love, we help the people who need us, we fight for those that cannot fight for themselves...

We run.

Impromptu Cross Training

Runner's World Tip:

If the idea of going on your regular four-miler just sinks you further into your recliner, remember that there are other ways to put in some miles - like a pickup game of soccer, flag football, or ultimate Frisbee. A soccer midfielder runs up to six miles in a regulation 90-minute game.

After a week of rain and cold, today was absolutely gorgeous. It's my cross training day so I have a date with Leandro and his Sculpting workout tonight, but I could not resist taking my 7-year old to the park. He played on the playground for awhile before requesting we play football. Sure, why not. We played catch for a bit, then he said it was time for tackle football even though "I don't want to hurt you, Mommy." We had an intense match up full of harrowing plays, darting to avoid tackles, head bumps, tongue bites, tickles, grass stains, and lots of laughter. Even though I can run for over 2 hours I was sore, my back especially. Slowly tackling a first-grader is harder than it looks! Fortunately I was granted a reprieve...for about a nanosecond...then it was on to "Mommy! Go down the slide!" So I did. And I was the biggest kid going down the tube slide.

Calendar of Awesome Entry:

Getting grass stains

First of all, getting a grass stain means that you were running around at high speeds without proper equipment. Maybe you slid last minute to avoid a frozen tag or made an awkward, somersault dive at a line-drive Wiffle ball. Either way, the grass stain symbolizes your large, devil-may-care investment in having balls-out fun, and that’s something worth respecting.
See, boring people, like myself, rarely get grass stains running around because we’re always doing it in Umbros and shin guards from 7:30 to 8:25 p.m. on Mondays down at the indoor Sportpark.
Now, when you’re just running around full throttle in cords and a sweater until you trip on a rock and fall down a hill, well, that is something. Walk home with pants full of grass stains, some spicy knee burn, and mud-caked shoes, and you’ve just had yourself a great day.
Awesome!

Showing off our grass stains

That sculpting workout tonight is going to hurt...

Drive with your butt!

Best running advice I've received to date...

"Drive with your butt!"

What is the meaning behind this advice, you ask? I recently commented that my quads are tiring more quickly than usual during my runs, to which the above advice was given. Basically it's a reminder to engage all muscle groups when running. Don't just pull the body along using the quads, get the hamstrings and those gluts involved. Same goes for working that core and arms. Running is a full body sport. Use the full body. But I like the summary "Drive with your butt!" best, don't you? And you know what else? It worked!

Ahhhh...a sigh of relief

My running funk of the past two days seems to have subsided thanks to the encouragement of my fellow runner. Still unsure of what was best...to run today or not to run today?...I opted for 3-4 miles. I figure I will take tomorrow off from running to be ready for a long Saturday run. As I was leaving I thought, "I'm going to assume this run will suck that way when it does it will have achieved expectations." With this super positive attitude I ventured out for my twilight run.

The first mile was okay. My left calf was tight. I tried not to think about it. "It just needs a mile to warm up," I told myself. I must be pretty convincing because sure enough, after about a mile, things started to fall into place. I eased my stride, focusing on short, smooth movements. I also chose a different route than what I've been running. The change of scenery definitely helped.

"You want to be present in your run, not still stuck at your desk in your mind. Choose a new route or find a scenic trail to help you get into the moment." - Runner's World Daily Calendar

I knew it was two miles to Melas park, there and back would be four. But once I got there it didn't seem right to not run the path around the park. Away I went, turning my 4 mile run into 6 miles, my legs finally enjoying the moment, my mind focusing on the darkened path ahead. There was the distance hum of traffic on road, the welcoming sounds of kids practicing soccer, the softball league playing their game on the fields, and the beat of my shoes on the path. Steady and strong, urging me forward. It was what I had been missing, I was hitting my stride. I reveled in the sounds of Spring. People were out and the park was alive despite the absence of sunlight. Soon the trees will bud and the world will wake from its winter slumber. I could almost hear the collective sigh of relief as I eased into my run.

The world is my gym and I am ready to play.

Stay inside for tornados

"If your mind is completely zapped, don't force a demanding workout. Instead, go out for an easy three miles and reschedule the long run."
- Runner's World Daily Calendar

I am officially putting in a request for a brain transplant. I would like an intelligent and sophisticated brain, please. One that could pass a "survival of the fittest" test. Because I am currently failing. Take this morning for instance. We had a tornado drill at work and I was ready to go outside. Clearly, outside is the safest place to go... during a tornado...

*sigh*

My running has suffered this week as well. Yesterday's 4 miler was slow and awful. My form was off, my legs felt like lead, and I felt clunky. But not every run can be a good run, right? Certainly today's run would be better, right? Right? Not so much. Today I felt like a running newbie, huffing along. I was crabby, no, pissed that I was struggling so much. I was hoping for a better run after yesterday's disappointment. However, after stress nightmares and oversleeping it just wasn't meant to be. Even today's run would not get me out of my funk.
What did get me out of my funk was running with a friend. It's easy to push the pace when I have someone to do the pushing for me. Granted it takes some patience to run with a crabby superhero. Awesome patience to listen to my ranting and whining while still assuring me that, while my behavior is ridiculous, it's okay. Encouraging me to tough out the run and that the next run would be fine. That it's okay to have a bad run. Naturally, the jokes, laughter, and a hug to make me feel better always helps.
Sometimes it's the run that lifts the spirits. More often, it's the chance to run with a friend.

Why I Run

My daughter said to me, "Mom, I was talking to my friend and I said I wanted to start training so I can run longer distances. Maybe not a marathon yet, I'll wait until I'm older, but I told her I want to train so that I can run like you do."

As I prepare for grocery shopping this weekend...

Yesterday's eating did not go well for me. As I up my miles, my appetite increases too. Only I don't make healthy choices. I've gained weight post marathon training in the past and I'd really like to avoid that this time. So I'm thinking if I make healthy food choice while I'm training...leans meats, lots of vitamin-rich fruits and vegetables...maybe I'll have more success at maintaining a healthy weight. I need to stop the excuse of "well, I run so I can eat that cookie (or 10)". Of course, this idea sounds good on paper, but the will power is a whole different story. Because I like to eat. And I especially like to eat desserts. And chips. And fried foods. And desserts. In past adventures of losing weight, I have kept a food journal. It may be time to resurrect that habit.

 

In preparation of this weekend's grocery shopping, I've also been exploring some advice on nutrition for endurance running. I found a some good resources on Runner's World.

 

A colorful diet! Fun!
Healthy Runner's Diet

There's a bunch of math in figuring out the nutrition in this one. Not sure how I feel about that...said the scientist... ;)
Real Runner Nutrition

I need to remember that food is fuel. If I want to run well, I need to fuel my body well.

I can do this.

I hope...